c0mp3t1ti0n

I remember being a group discussion in DBSC's Black Thoughts on why woman to woman relations can be so negative. A lot of the answers had to deal with competition. I just refused to believe it. That couldn't have been the ultimate reason why.

But then today I was talking to someone who mentioned that he had more female friends than men because he just felt comfortable that way. My response: how could you not feel comfortable with your own sex?! He simply said there tends to be competition when men are together.

I would think that men would be use to that type of thing, but I guess their just like women in a sense. When I see the competition between men, it's like whatever that's normal. But when I look at the competition between women its like scary.

I'll admit to being competitive myself, but it was always because I was fed up with being last. I hated that everyone got things with ease and I was behind the curve trying to figure out how the hell did I miss the boat again. So I thought if I just competed with everyone else that I was taking charge and gaining some cojones. But all it really did was put me a part of the drama that was going on. So you're either a late bloomer or you're a threat or sometimes it was just fun (my favorite situation).

So now I know that men and women aren't so different. But I still want to know: what is this competition, why do we need to compete for a certain type of attention that sometimes ends friendships? Is it biological (hormonal/instinctual) or is it societal (mental)?

Love,
Asia J
"Side of my dome is the zone you could never find
Grip hands? you might need assistance
Tryin' to find where you are inside of my head"
-The Cool Kids

Kiss...

All this talk about the traditional kissing when the ball drops has got me thinking about this song...

..I'm not thinking about the kiss too much, it's not that serious to me unless I'm actually with someone that night. So my plan is to party it up and be thankful for another year to look forward to. If a kiss comes from a certain someone, :-D, if not I'll still be having a good time.

Love,
Asia J
"Side of my dome is the zone you could never find
Grip hands? you might need assistance
Tryin' to find where you are inside of my head"
-The Cool Kids

I luv this so

Get it Here!

Love,
Asia J
"Side of my dome is the zone you could never find
Grip hands? you might need assistance
Tryin' to find where you are inside of my head"
-The Cool Kids

"We don't have to send soldiers on a peace keeping mission, because the peace is already there." -Obama

Love,
Asia J
"Side of my dome is the zone you could never find
Grip hands? you might need assistance
Tryin' to find where you are inside of my head"
-The Cool Kids

Kobe, LeBron&Santa vs. Blitzen

Love,
Asia J
"Side of my dome is the zone you could never find
Grip hands? you might need assistance
Tryin' to find where you are inside of my head"
-The Cool Kids

Numero Uno

I'm noticing that I haven't been talking to Numero Uno in my life. I'm actually avoiding the conversation, the music that refers to Him, and even the people that associate with Him, except for family and friends.
Between feelin' bad about it and stubborn about some things, I have propelled myself into a poor relationship with Numero Uno.
It sucks badly. But I know I will be hanging out soon enough, its just now I don't want to. I'm kind of mad at him so right now and I kind of just want to chill and not think about it.
Talk to you all later.

Love,
Asia J
"Side of my dome is the zone you could never find
Grip hands? you might need assistance
Tryin' to find where you are inside of my head"
-The Cool Kids

VIDEO VIXEN THOUGHTS

[I wrote this in the summer for someone and I finally remembered while I was on the computer to add it to the blog.]

When I first came upon the term video vixen I was in my early teens and watching some type of true life special on being a hip-hop video chick. The girls featured were pretty much using it as a stepping stone to further their career in the entertainment industry or they were just trying to pay for college. As a youngin' I could understand it and respect it, but I really had no real interest in being one . That was like six or seven years ago and the game has truly changed since then. Video girls are an industry and becoming a video vixen is a no longer a stepping stone for some of those women, it's a career.

Women are graduating from college and being video girls (and I'm just hoping it's only up until they pay back those student loans). They are making documentaries and printing books about the lifestyle of a video vixen. Some of them are even being pimped into the business of a hip-hop video girl. I'm not hating on none of them at all because I know some of them don't take it seriously and I also am aware that being a video vixen is a better way to pay bills than trickin' and dealin'.

However, I do have a problem with young girls aspriring to be a modern day pin-up, an urban play-boy bunny and obtaining that type of status more for self-worth than for a paycheck or a fun experience in their life.

When I was a teenager and watching how these video girls dressed and acted in the music videos I thought that's the only way to get a boys attention; tight jeans, tight tops, tight dresses and straight long flowy hair. My friends and I were clearly influenced because we dressed like that with no second thought at every dance, party, and hang-out. Our parents had there little say: "cover that up", "that's too small" but outside the house nobody was trying to listen to their parents. As I got older I realized that little girls shouldn't feel that they have to exploit their bodies to get a boyfriend or even just to fit in and they should know that.

The hip-hop video vixen industry is falsely advertising their business. That's not an industry where women are respected. Their clientelle are known and have been seen mocking them and treating them like disposal wrappers. It's an industry that glitters like its gold, but its really fools gold. Which is why I would not consider being a video vixen a career, because the young women there only gain fame for their assets; how exotic they look, how fat their ass is, how much bounce is to their breast, and how arousing are they to their customers. It's a job or someone's chance at 15 minutes of fame, nothing more and nothing less.

I will not advocate against it because I believe at some point every woman should have their moment of being admired and desired by many, but I think it should just be just a moment of your life, it should not be your life. You cannot sit on pretty forever. Too many young girls are growing up thinking that all they have to offer to this world is their looks or their bodies because they fit the image of a video vixen and that's not true at all.

Here are two great videos about Video Vixens:
My Name Is Video Vixen and My Name is Video Vixen Exclusive




Love,
Asia J
"Side of my dome is the zone you could never find
Grip hands? you might need assistance
Tryin' to find where you are inside of my head"
-The Cool Kids